dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
should my penis look like a turkey
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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