he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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