Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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