i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So here I am, sexting at work.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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