3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
