I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
