Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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