I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
