Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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