the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
