Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
