i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
