omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
