I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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