I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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