She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
