You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
