can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
