If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
