Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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