He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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