Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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