i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
