I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
