he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
