You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Pants are for mortals
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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