He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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