And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
