there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
