I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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