Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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