Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
