this beer tastes like vomit already
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
