Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
