I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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