doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
