The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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