We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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