yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
