The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
