used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
