remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
