so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
