I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
