that's an acceptable place to lick
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
