Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
