Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
