you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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