she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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