I wanna bring you to show and tell
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
